A Love Letter to my Friends

Two years ago today I ran my first full marathon at the Carmel Marathon.  It was hot, painful, hard, and yet fun too.  I couldn't have done it without the support of so many friends:

• Kathy came out to Blue Mile and ran with me on Saturdays while I was training;
• the Fast Bottom Girls worked one of the water stops (around mile 15 or so I think) and ran with me for a little while;
• Lindsey was at the Athletic Annex water stop around mile 19 and gave me some jelly beans and ran with me;
• I met and ran with Jen (running her 120-somethingth marathon) from mile 20 to 24 and saw her again at the finish;
• Jeanette was at mile 26 cheering and taking pictures;
• Beth met me at the finish line with flowers;
• and Matt & Tim were there in the gear check tent to congratulate me.

If you've never run a marathon, you can't imagine how mentally challenging it is.  I wanted to quit so many times, but having so many friends cheer for me and even run with me for a bit kept me going when I just wanted to lie down in the shade with a cold drink.  I remember thinking then that I was glad I picked Carmel for my first marathon since the support along the course that day meant so much to me, and that I was really lucky to have so many good friends in my life.  I had no idea how true that really was though.

Five days after Carmel, Kevin died of a heart attack, and my life went into a tailspin from which it still hasn't recovered.  And much like that marathon, I could not have made it this far without the support of so many friends.  So many times these past two years, I have just wanted to lie down and quit.  But every time I think I can't take another step, someone shows up with just what I need to keep going for a little bit longer.

I'm humbled and amazed and grateful to have so many wonderful friends in my life.  From friends I've known for over 20 years to friends I recently met.  I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I thank God every day for all of you, because without you I would be a complete basket case all the time, instead of just now and then.

I talk a lot on this blog about my running friends, but I have some pretty awesome coworkers too, and great friends at church, wonderful neighbors, internet friends, classmates from high school, summer camp & college....  I wish I could list everyone out, because I'm not sure you all know how much you help me, and some of you may not realize how much you matter to me.

So this blog post is for you.  If you've ever called me, texted me, run with me, gone to the movies with me, bought me a beer, snuck flowers into my office, given me a hug, given me a high five, listened to me cry, laughed at my inappropriate jokes, put up with my crazy mood swings, lent me a power tool, given me home improvement advice, sent me a card, met me for brunch, invited me out, stopped by to see me, or come to some event I organized:  Thank you.  I love you.

When you see me post #hazelstrong, know that it's just an abbreviation.  What I'm really saying is #hazelisonlystrongbecausesomanyfriendsarecarryingher

What Happened in Vegas?

How was the race?

Start Line pic by Theresa Pritchard

Rock 'n' Roll Las Vegas Marathon.  It was a very tough race, but ultimately I feel pretty good about how it went overall.  It started off great.  Christina & I were in corral 12, but we worked our way up to actually start with corral 7 to give ourselves a little time cushion.  We started right at sunset, running out of town past the back of the Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas sign, and then turned around to come back by the sign on the way in, and then down the Strip.  I'd made a pace band for a 5:30 marathon, and at every mile marker I checked my pace and was staying about 3 minutes ahead for the first 10 miles and felt great.

At mile 6, I looked down the Strip towards the Stratosphere and just felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I was there, that I had the opportunity to have this amazing experience, and I prayed and gave thanks to God while I ran.  This isn't the life I thought I would be having, and I'd still give anything to have my old life back, but since I know that isn't an option, I'm incredibly thankful that Option B includes moments like that.

I continued ahead of pace and actually ran a half PR in the first half of the race.  Shortly after mile 10, the full course turned off the strip and began meandering through side streets.  There were still bands and DJs set up along the course, but no more crowds or funny signs, and really no sights to see.  I had been taking nutrition and drinking Nuun just like I trained, but I began to struggle around mile 15.  I remembered how I'd felt at mile 14 of my 20 mile long run a few weeks before, and how I got a second wind shortly after. so I kept pushing but that second wind didn't kick in this time.

#CountdownToVegas Week 15: PR in the Rain

Saturday morning on the Monon

Short blog post today, because it's almost time for the season premiere of The Walking Dead.  I'm not enjoying the show as much as I used to, and I actually think Z Nation is a better show at this point.  But I'm curious enough to still watch at least the first few episodes this season, and see where it might be going.

I had a rather busy week with work and other obligations, plus one day I just plain forgot to pack my sports bra, so I didn't get quite as many miles in this week as I'd originally planned.  I only ran three days, which feels like slacking.  But they were good quality runs, so I've got that going for me.

Monday was reverse hill suicides with #TeamMoHills.  It was a really tough workout, but these ladies always make it fun.  Crazy that it was still in the 80s in mid-October!

3.17 PR

S'more on a Stick!

Thursday was the final Run(317) race of 2016.  It was in the 50s and raining, but I had a great race.  The course was crowded at the beginning, but once it opened up, I was feeling strong so I ran hard.  Not all out since the pavement was wet, but definitely pushing.  My mile splits were 10:38, 10:09, 10:38, and my final time was 33.22, nine seconds faster than my previous best at that distance.  I know some people prefer a straighter course, but for a 5K I like a course with a lot of turns.  Mentally it helps me, because I can break the race down to just running this block, just pushing to the next corner, etc.

The Run(317) races this year were all a lot of fun, even though the weather didn't always cooperate.  I'm looking forward to seeing what they have for us next year.  Now that Indianapolis has a second area code, though, will they have to offer two distances?  Either way, I really hope to see the S'more Mobile again!

Long Run

Saturday was my long run - 16 miles.  I had listed on our What's Next page that I was running the Hendricks County Fall Colors 10K, but I never actually did sign up for it.  Normally I don't list an event I'm not registered for, but I kept intending to do this one.  Every time I brought the website up, though, something stopped me.  So I decided to do my long run with BGR's All About That Base group, and I'm so glad I did.  I ran with Re'Nita for the first 8 miles, Broad Ripple to Carmel.  I was enjoying chatting with her and didn't even feel like we'd gone all that far.  She had a longer run on her schedule than I did, so I turned around at 8 and headed back while she kept going.  It was a gorgeous fall day - perfect weather for a long run.  Average pace was 13:01.  Interestingly mile 8 was my fastest, at 11:41.

Total miles for the week: 28.4

Total training miles to date:  396.05

Winner x 2

Hopefully Laura blogs soon, but while we wait I'm going to brag on her.  She ran two races Saturday: a 10K road race in the morning and a 5 mile trail race that night.  She was 1st in her age group and 5th female overall in BOTH RACES!  Way to go Laura!

Up Next

Two Halloween events this week:  the Athletic Annex Candy Caper on Friday night (not a race, just a fun run), and the Brew HaHa Saturday morning.  Despite Siri's advice, however, I have some good costumes for both races.  Stay tuned to Instagram....

#CountdownToVegas Week 14: Thriving During the Zombie Uprising

Lots to write about this week!  First off let's start with my left knee.  I'd been running in denial since August.  I would not admit my knee hurt, because saying it would make it real, and if it was real I might have to do something like stop running for a little while.  The only person who knew was Josh, because he'd see me icing it, and I would say something sarcastic like "my knee doesn't hurt, I'm icing it just in case it was to start hurting".  Of course he knows how to translate that, though.

I should say here that I was not actually running through pain. It really didn't hurt while I was running, only afterwards.  And on a scale of 1-10, it was a 1 or 2 at most.  But this past couple of weeks, it started to be more of a 3, and I started worrying maybe something was wrong and I was making it worse and damaging my chances to continue to be active long-term.  And once that worry started in my head, it started to suck the joy and fun out of running.  So I made a doctor's appointment.  My doctor is a runner too, so I knew she would get it.  It turned out she was out of town, but Kevin's doctor is in the same practice and he's also a runner, so I made the appointment with him.

I'm glad I went; especially since it was all good news.  He said my knee pain is just from overtraining, gave me some exercises to do, told me to continue icing it and take naproxen.  But most importantly he said it was fine to keep running.  Whew!  And just like that running is fun again!

#CountdownToVegas Weeks 12 & 13: There and Back Again

Pic by Brandi Nicole

Since I was travelling last weekend, I never got around to my weekly blog post, so this one covers two weeks.  If I could somehow just dictate these while I'm running, they'd get done on time and probably be a lot better.  I always forget half of what I wanted to say by the time I sit down at the PC.

Training is still going well.  Last week it was #TeamMoHills on Monday, Bourbon Street Running Club followed by #LFBootcamp on Tuesday, and a basic 3 mile run around my neighborhood Wednesday morning.  Thursday was a rest day, as I slept in that morning and hit the road as soon as I got off work.  I didn't make it quite halfway to my parents' house before driving in the dark and rain got to be too much so I stopped for the night.

Paxton Holler

Friday morning I ran 3.17 miles on the hotel treadmill.  It was so excruciating.  How can a 3 mile treadmill run seem to take forever, while 3 miles outside barely feels like a warm up?  But I got it done, and then drove on to my parents' for a late lunch and a nice but too short visit.  Then it was back on the road for the last little leg of my trip to Greer, SC, and what should've been an 80 minute drive instead took 2 1/2 hours because everyone in NC and SC was on I-26 at the same time.  Good grief people.  Indianapolis doesn't have traffic jams that bad unless there's a wreck.

The main reason for this trip was a reunion with some friends from The Cullowhee Experience, a summer camp we attended as teens.  As with most reunions, not everyone could make it, but it was so great to see those who did.  We all connected just like when we were younger, and it didn't seem at all like we'd spent years apart.

#CountdownToVegas Week 11: Hookers Don't Wear Muppet Socks

Or do they?  The ones I've seen on 10th Street don't, but I'm certainly no expert.  But I think someone thought I was one today.  I'm not exactly sure what happened.  In the 24 years I've lived in Indy, I've done a lot of walking and running around by myself, and today is the first time I've ever been scared.

I went downtown this morning for the AUSA Indy Ten Miler.  I got there around 6:15 and parked on White River Parkway, and I was walking across the New York Street bridge when this car stopped on the bridge just ahead of me.  I couldn't see anyone in the car besides the driver, but that didn't mean there wasn't someone else in the car, so I got all the way over to the edge of the sidewalk, too far from the car for someone to reach me.  There had been another runner - a male - crossing the bridge earlier as I parked, but he was no longer in sight and there was no other traffic at all.

#CountdownToVegas Week 10: Pace Car

Showing off those tats; pic by Tess Barnard

Week 10 of my 18 week marathon training plan.  That means I'm over halfway ready?  Yikes!  56 days to go.  We've got our hotel reservations and our Fast Bottom Girls tattoos from Mile Markings; time to get those plane tickets too.

This week started out on a low note, as my Nike+ Sportwatch GPS reached the end of its useful life.  I had been noticing some fogginess in the upper right corner after my runs the past few weeks, and although I can't see any cracks, there must be somewhere moisture is getting inside it now.  The data is all still there, because when I connect it to our PC I can still see it, but the display no longer works.

Noooo!

I was pretty sad about it, not so much because of the watch itself but because of what it represented.  Kevin gave me this watch for Christmas in 2012, the year I started running.  I hadn't even asked for it, but he had heard me express my frustration with using apps on my phone to track my running, and he picked this watch out for me.  So looking at this watch reminded me of Kevin and his support for me.  I know I still have that always in my heart, but I will miss this physical reminder on my wrist.

Most of my runs this week were watchless, but since they were familiar routes I still know how far I ran, just not how fast.  In my head, Monday morning's run was really fast as that's when I discovered my watch no longer worked and I pounded out my feelings on the pavement.  I did 2 miles Monday morning, then a 3 mile "taper" hill workout with #TeamMoHills Monday after work.  Tuesday I ran 3 miles in the morning, had to miss BSRC's Prediction Run after work but I did make it to LF Bootcamp where Megan came up with a great workout for us.

#CountdownToVegas Week 8: What a Difference 30 Degrees Makes

This week I finally started feeling better.  I miss Kevin all the time, but sometimes the pain is sharper than others, and all I can do is just go with it. I started out the week still feeling down, but I kept getting up and working and training every day, and finally by Thursday I was feeling more like myself. Thank you to everyone who reached out to me recently. Your love and support is beyond priceless.

This morning in Sunday School we were discussing where we see evidence of God's care and concern.  Really for me it's every single day since Kevin died, God has given me something to get out of bed for, something to do, something to work on, some reason to keep moving.  And moments of joy and peace every day as well.  It's pretty amazing as I look back on it.

And so I keep moving every day, whether I feel like it or not.  Not in a "fake it till you make it" way, but rather moving in faith that God has something for me to do.  And always I feel Him with me.  So here's how this week's training went:

Trail Therapy

Monday - Missed Hills

Runner girl fail.  After work I went to change for hill training and discovered I'd forgotten shorts.  So I went home and waited around for the temps to cool off just a bit, then headed out for a short sunset trail run.  Being in the woods is always good for my soul.

Total miles: 3.5

Tuesday - Cross Training

My usual 5K Canal run with BSRC, followed by LFBootcamp.  I made this week's workout with some punching moves; possibly working out some aggression.  It felt a little awkward at first, but I enjoyed it and I think the others did too.

Total miles: 4

Wednesday - Yoga

Boat Pose

Last week for Sunrise Yoga on the Canal.  I've really enjoyed these sessions all summer.  Yoga outside just gives me something extra that yoga in a studio doesn't have.  Even in the middle of the city with traffic noises, there's something about being outside that's more meaningful.  This week we did a lot of balance and core work.  Some of the poses are still really challenging for me, and I didn't even attempt any handstands.

Total miles: 2.2

Thursday - Run(317)

Finally the heat wave finally broke.  Thursday's Run(317) Carmel was so nice - the run felt effortless after struggling with the heat the past few weeks.  I didn't PR, but pretty close at 35:23..  And as always, the after-party was a blast.  Only one more left this year: Fountain Square on 10/20.  It's bound to sell out like the others have, so sign up now.  This is the original and it's still the favorite of a lot of people.

Total miles: 7.4 (because I parked so far away from the race I walked more than I ran)

TGIF

I didn't work out on Friday.  But I did buy some new running shoes! All the local running stores are having sales for Labor Day weekend.  When I was out picking up our packets for Saturday's race, I browsed the shoes on sale, and was thrilled to spot one pair of the exact shoe I needed in my size.

Total miles: 0.7

Saturday - Long Run + TheGloRun

Saturday morning I went to Broad Ripple for my long run.  I did part of it on the Monon Trail, and part on the Canal Towpath.  With temps in the mid 60s and low humidity, I felt like I could run all day.  It was so nice to feel that way again.  I had to stop, just because Sampson had a vet appointment, otherwise who knows how far I would've run.

I was still dealing with dizziness, though, so it isn't just the heat causing that.  It didn't stop me or slow me down, but it's kind of a scary feeling.  I am really congested with fall allergies, so maybe that is what's causing it?  If it doesn't go away when my allergies clear up (typically mid-September), I will go see my doctor.

Saturday night I had the opportunity to do TheGloRun, and Josh ran it with me.  I got two free entries in exchange for blogging about it, so I'm going to do a full write-up tomorrow.  Spoiler: we had a great time.  This was a really fun run, and even after my morning long run I had no soreness (and no dizziness), and finished 5th in my age group with 34:55.

Best of all though was spending the evening with Josh.  I'm pretty lucky he's not embarrassed to hang out with his goofy mom all dressed up in an 80s costume.  I'm going to miss him when he moves to Colorado.  I'm already making plans to run Rock 'N Roll Denver next year.

Total miles: 18.2

Total miles for the week: 36.1

Total training miles to date:  197.65

Up Next

Sept. 10:  I really want to run the Hendricks County Half Marathon this coming Saturday.  I'm not signed up, though, and I'm not sure if I can/want to spend the money.  It was my very first half back in 2013, so it's kind of special to me, and I want to run it again.  Stay tuned to see what I decide.

Sept. 17:  I'm the 3-Hour Pacer for the Indy Women's Half Marathon.  I'm starting to get nervous about it.  I've never paced a race before.  I don't want to let anyone down.  

Sept. 25:  AUSA Indy Ten Miler: I found out about this race last year too late to actually run it, so as soon as registration opened for this year I signed up.  

More Good Days Than Bad....But Not This Week: Countdown to Vegas Week 7

I know I'm supposed to be telling you how my marathon training went this week, but it's mostly a blur & I don't have much to say about it. Usually when someone asks how I'm doing, if they are a person I feel safe being honest with, I say "More good days than bad ones lately."  Well this week that wasn't true.

There were a few bright moments. Boot camp was good on Tuesday, and Theresa's Refit class on Wednesday was a lot of fun.  But mostly I've felt so sad and so tired, or just numb.  Even my runs were struggles. I don't want to do this anymore. But there's no way off this road.  No detours, no shortcuts. 

I know there's still good to come - little oasis moments of joy on this long lonely desert road - some races & other fun things I have planned that I'm looking forward to. But right now I'm just tired. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of feeling like a stranger in my own life. Even sleeping doesn't help. I dreamed about Kevin last night, and he kissed me which was awesome because I really miss kissing him. But he refused to say he loved me, and so I woke up angry and crying. 

Although maybe he wouldn't still love me if he came back. He might be appalled at some of the bad habits I've acquired since he died. Like eating in bed. Actually I used to do that before I met him too, but I don't think he knew that. I do eat a lot healthier food in bed now than I did back then, but I'm still pretty sure he wouldn't like it.  And he'd never put up with me sleeping with the lights on.

Gloomy weather to match my mood

I was hoping Saturday's long run would give me a reset, but it was rough too. I slept in rather than get an early start.  When I finally headed out around 9:30, I heard thunder almost immediately, so I headed back home. I fell asleep reading, and when I woke around 11:30 the rain had stopped. I had 2 chapters to go so I decided to finish my book then go run.  Just as I put my book down, rain & thunder made another appearance. By then I was hungry again so I ate lunch, then finally around 2:30 the skies and radar were both clear. But the heat & humidity were back, and I battled nausea for most of my run, which was more of a long walk.  By the end I was feeling dizzy too. Not a fun run at all.  But I didn't stop and I finished my scheduled 12 miles.

Total miles for the week: 33.8

Total training miles to date:  161.55

One area I'm not struggling in right now is my faith. I feel God so present with me right now in my pain. It's hard to even explain. Parts of the Bible like Job and Lamentations that never really made sense to me before do now. God is still good, and He hasn't abandoned me.  I just don't want to be here anymore.  My soul is tired.  I don't think it's coincidence that I've heard this song on the radio three times this week, even though it's not a current hit.

Up Next

I try to keep a good balance between fun events scheduled and downtime to just be where I am.  I know if I get too busy I'll start feeling stressed instead of enjoying my activities, but if I don't have enough on the calendar that will leave me feeling lonely.  I have two races this week:

Run(317) Carmel on Thursday evening - a new location this year for my fave race series.  I like running in Carmel, but I don't like driving there.  So much construction, my car GPS is useless.  The race and post race party are always a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone.  As of Friday, there were only about 50 spots left, so this will sell out too.  If you aren't signed up yet, don't wait.

The GloRun on Saturday evening - an 80's themed glow-in-the-dark night run.  I'm doing this one with Josh, so I know we'll have a great time.

You're Never Too Old To Play Outside: Countdown to Vegas Week 6

This post is not going to be my typical weekly training recap.  This past week was rather light on training but strong on adventure.  I needed that.  I feel freer today than I have in months.  I hope I can hang onto this feeling.  It's going to be hard to tell you what all this meant to me, but in my rambly way I will try.

Monday - Wednesday: Recovery

My back was still hurting from the week prior.  I think all the time spent sitting in classes, in airports and on airplanes had irritated a nerve.  I didn't want to run until I was pain-free; I'd rather miss a few days than take a chance of making it worse.  So I tried to walk some each day, and stretch and foam roll my legs and glutes.  By Wednesday I felt about 95% better, so I cleaned the frat house and made plans to run on Thursday.

Thursday: Running Again

Thursday's run was both fun and inspirational.  IMPD invited the public to come out and run with

their recruit class, so I joined several friends to do that.  We met shortly before noon and listened along with the recruits to their trainers and the Police Chief.  We ran along the Canal Walk, stopping at the USS Indianapolis Memorial, the 9/11 Memorial, and the Medal of Honor Memorial.  At each stop, we listened to the trainers and Police Chief again as they talked about service and sacrifice.  It was all very moving.  The run was also fun, since the recruits were doing PT calls, and it's been a long time since I've run to any of those.  I was humbled and grateful to be a part of this, and I hope I get the chance to do it again.  Click this link to see the news story about it:  http://wishtv.com/2016/08/18/chief-riggs-runs-with-impd-recruits-along-canal/

Friday - Sunday: Summer Camp FBG Style

Flat Rock River YMCA Camp offers a Women's Getaway Weekend, and several of my friends and I had been planning to go for months.  #YurtChat started back in March.  I cannot tell you how excited I was that the weekend was finally here, and it did not disappoint.

Countdown to Vegas Week 5: Run Detroit

I spent most of last week in Detroit taking classes towards being a Certified Housing Asset Manager.  I didn't let the travel derail my marathon training though.  I had already planned several runs and workouts before I even left Indy, and of course my fave running shoes went in my carry-on bag.  I am not taking any chance of losing those!

Monday - Long Run

Classes every day except Friday ran from 8:00 - 4:00.  As soon as Monday's class was over, I headed back to the hotel to change and go run.  Monday's weather was in the low 70s with low humidity, and based on the forecast for the week, it was going to be the most perfect day for a run.  My plan was to go down to the Riverfront and run north to Belle Isle bridge, then run over the bridge to Belle Isle State Park, about 4 miles.  I thought I'd find somewhere there to buy water and a snack, then run back.  The first part of the evening went according to plan.

Once I got to the island, I was a little disappointed at first.  There were very few signs, and even fewer sidewalks.  For a park, it was not pedestrian friendly at all.  There were roads and bike lanes everywhere, and all the walkers and runners I saw were in the bike lanes, which forced the bikes into the roads.  Most of the attractions were closed since it was after business hours, so I headed over to the beach.  There my disappointment went away.  The beach was delightful, and even though the cafe was closed there was an ice cream truck, so I got my snack and water, and took my shoes off to run on the sand and in the water.  The Detroit River is very clean and pretty.

Countdown to Vegas Week 4

Thankful for the cloud cover

The countdown has moved from triple-digits to double-digits: just 98 days till we run Vegas!  Training is going well.  This is the part I always like: I'm feeling strong and enjoying my runs and workouts.

Monday - Hills

Four rounds of long hill-short hill runs ending in strides, plus a couple extra laps just because.  I can definitely tell in the 6 weeks or so I've been doing these hill workouts that they are making me stronger.  I'm making some great new running friends too.

Total miles: 4

Tuesday - Cross Training

I got stuck in construction traffic on the way to BSRC, so I only did half a lap before heading off to boot camp.  Since most area schools are on balanced calendars and started back this week or last week, the theme was Back To School: a countdown-style total body workout that I confess I pulled straight from Pinterest.  It was a good workout though.

Total miles: 1.2

Wednesday - Rest Day

I did not get up for sunrise yoga.  Actually, I did get up, but after about 10 minutes I decided to go back to bed.  It wasn't so much the yoga as the thought of how I end up dragging by 3pm on these days I go into work at 7 instead of closer to 9.

Total miles: 0

Thursday - Speed

I went to Flat12 early and left about 30 minutes before our normal run time to get some extra miles in.  Following my advice from last week, though, I did let Patrick know I was there and what route I would be running.  Since it was the first night of GenCon, I ran down to Georgia Street and over to Capitol.  I didn't see very many costumes - most people save those for Saturday - but I did see a lot of fun nerdy t-shirts.  I was of course wearing my Battlestar Galactica Viper pilot double tank and channeling my inner Starbuck.

Total miles: 5

Friday - Recovery Run

Five miles, Cultural Trail to Pogues Run Trail and back, split between morning and lunch time.  Friday runs are fun because I get to listen to Lindsey's podcast: I'll Have Another.  If you enjoy podcasts, I definitely recommend you give hers a listen.  She always has fun and inspiring guests on, and she herself is so fun and inspiring.

Total miles: 5

Saturday - Long Run & A Surprise Race

Remember when I told you I didn't have any races in August?  Well Jen remedied that for me.  She messaged me earlier in the week that the church youth group had 10 entries in the Run For One 5K to benefit Purchased.org, and they didn't have 10 runners going so I was welcome to join them.  I got up early Saturday and ran 6.2 miles before sunrise, then showered and changed (why? who knows?) and met Jen and the youth at Southeastway Park.  It's a beautiful place to run.  There was a lot of shade and a nice breeze on the paved running trail.  The race was untimed, but my watch showed a time of 35:15, average pace of 11:23.  Not bad for running a 5K after running a 10K.  It was a fun event, with Chick-Fil-A sandwiches and a Zumba cool-down after the race.  Since I was only at 9.3 miles and I needed 10, I then hit the woodland trails around the park.  I really felt like I could keep going all morning, but I'm sticking to my training plan so I stopped at 0.7 miles.

Total miles: 10

Sunday - Rest Day

Today didn't feel very restful.  I  went straight from church to the airport, where I then had to wait for a delayed flight.  I feel like all I did was sit, but yet I'm really tired for all that sitting and waiting.  But I'm safely here in Detroit now.  I can see Canada from my hotel room, but I can't go there.  I keep meaning to renew my expired passport, but $165 is 5 or 6 race entry fees.  Maybe I need to sign up for a race in Canada?  That would motivate me.

Total miles: 0 (since I didn't track walking through airports)

Total weekly miles: 25.5

Total training miles to date:  81.05

Up Next

I'm in Detroit all week for work.  This is the continuation of the training I started last fall in Philadelphia.  I had plenty of time there for running and sightseeing, and I plan to do the same here.  If anyone has any recommendations for what to see or where to run while I'm here, leave a comment or send me a message.  I'm looking forward to checking out a new city.

Countdown to Vegas Week 3: This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

While the thermometer showed temps in the 80s this week instead of 90s, it still felt really hot and humid, and I'm so salty and itchy by the end of even a short run.  I've been eating bananas and baked potatoes, and drinking coconut water, but I am still struggling with calf and foot cramps.  I'm going to keep working on finding a solution, so if you have any tips please share.  Here's how this week's training went:

Monday - Hills

At this week's hill training with BGRIndy, we split into groups.  Those who missed the Tired Legs workout from two weeks ago got to do that one, while those of us who were there for it did partner hills sprints.  We tackled that hill hard!  It was a short workout but a tough one.

Total miles: 2.7

Hot In The City: Countdown to Vegas Week 2

Holy heatwave Batman!  The temps this week have wreaked havoc on training plans and driven many of us inside to the dreadmill.  Here in the midwest, it looks like we will start to see a break from the heat by Thursday, but then we will be dodging thunderstorms as we schedule our runs.  I would still rather be hot than cold any day, so I'm just going to hydrate and try not to complain too much.  Here's how this week's training went:

Monday - Hills

Confession time: one of the main reasons I joined Black Girls Run Indianapolis was because I wanted to do these hill workouts on Monday.  I have no problem going out and doing a long run by myself any day - those are fun to me.  But putting in some of the hard work like hills, speed training, or cross training takes a group to make me accountable.  I'd been following these ladies on Instagram for a while and know they work hard and have fun together encouraging each other.  So I joined up and I'm really glad I did.  This week we ran suicides up Soap Box Derby Hill.  I never caught her, but I'm pretty sure Brandi kept moving those cones farther apart each round.  It was also Crazy Sock week, and you know I'm always up for wearing crazy socks.
Total miles: 4

Countdown to Vegas: Week 1

Team #MoHills - Pic by Brandi Nicole

Before I get into the wrap-up of training for Vegas, and some rambly thoughts that ran through my head this week, I first want to say thank you to everyone who's stopped by to read our blog.  We've been at it for a little over three years now, and I'm really humbled by the fact that so many of you are interested in what I have to say.  My most recent post - Independence Day - has vaulted over 2014's  Treadmills: Maybe They're Not That Bad to become our third most read post ever.  Wow.  So thank you to everyone who reads or even skims these rambly thoughts of mine.  You really have no idea what your support means to me.

Vegas

In November the #FBG and I will be heading out run to Rock 'n' Roll Las Vegas.  There's a whole weekend of races of different distances, and I am planning to run the full marathon there.  It will be my second full and my first destination race.  Also my first time visiting Vegas.  I'm super excited about it.  I'm also trying to train for it a little better than I did for my first marathon.

With a Little Help From My Friends

This is where I'd normally write a wrap-up of the year, adding up all the miles I ran and posting pictures of all the t-shirts, medals, and other swag I collected.  But 2015 stopped being about all that for me on April 23.  It instead became about the sustaining love of God, and the amazing support of my family and friends.


I have always known how blessed I am to have such a great family.  I'm so close to my parents and sisters, I have a wonderful relationship with our kids, and I have many extended family members that I enjoy staying in touch with too.  But I have really been awed to discover just how many wonderful supportive friends I have.

There's no "I" in Indy, just US

Friends back in Canton, friends here in Indy, and friends all around the world.  Coworkers, former coworkers, church friends, runner friends, SMOMS, bootcampers, friends from grad school, neighbors.  Friends I've known almost as long as I've lived in Indy, and friends I just met this summer.  It's no exaggeration to say that for all the tears I've cried in sadness over losing Kevin, I have cried just as many in humble gratitude at the support I've received from so many friends.  It's also no coincidence that yesterday when I started working on this blog post, some friend or friends anonymously sent flowers to me at work.

We have other talents besides running

I find myself starting to say "I don't know what I've done to deserve all of you."  But then I think that's kind of the point.  When God pours out his love on us, whether through the people He puts in our lives or some other way, it isn't because we deserve it.  It's just because He loves us.  So we just accept it as a beautiful gift.  And then we go out and love each other in response.

Babes of Bootcamp

And so that's my goal for 2016: to be grateful and to give back.  I'm know I'm still going to have lots of bad days; days when all I can do is go home and put Kevin's clothes on and cry till my head hurts.  But on the okay days and the good days, I'm going to try to give back some fraction of the support you've given me, and love you and encourage you on your journey.

Closed eyes, warm heart?

Of course I can't resist posting one pic of race swag.  I call this the Cuss Word Trifecta.  I was joking with Laura the other night that we could make this our motto for 2016: Do Epic Shit Every Damn Day, Badass!  And with that in mind, here's some of the epic shit I have penciled in on my calendar:

Do Epic Shit Every Damn Day. Badass!

• The Indy East Race Series - I hope all my Indy friends will join me at as many of these as you can.  Four 5Ks for only $60!  That price is good through January 15th, so sign up soon.
• Pacing the 13-14 min/mile group with the Indy Runners Spring Training Program - I'm pretty excited about this!  I'll be helping other runners reach their goal of a spring half marathon.
• My second full marathon and first destination race: Rock 'n' Roll Las Vegas!  Kevin & I always wanted to go to Vegas, but we never got to make that trip together.  So this one is for Kevin.  I'm going to run the strip, see all the sights, and take everything in that I can.  Several of the FBG are going too, so I know it will be a blast!
• Lots more fun new things I hope to try: ReFit, Barre Fitness classes, possibly a triathlon in late summer, possibly a 50K in December (or January 2017), hopefully going to summer camp with the FBG in August....

Monumental Emotion

Today Kathy & I were signed up to work the Results Tent at the Monumental Marathon, Half Marathon & 5K.  We arrived at the time we were told to be there, only to find all 6 spots at the results table were full.  And including us there were 6 other volunteers just standing around.  No one ever showed us how to look up results in case we needed to take someone's place.  And they really only needed one or two extras in case someone needed a break.  So after a while, we asked someone who sort of seemed to be in charge if they really needed us at all.  He said no, so we headed out to the Carmel Runners Club Cheer Zone.

Relay Style; Don't Care Bears; + TWD Season Premiere

Lots to cover today.  Lots of stuff coming up too, so that's why I combined this all into one blog post.

Back On My Feet Marathon Relay

On 10/3 I did the Back On My Feet Marathon Relay with some ladies from work, calling ourselves the Pace Cadets.  We had a couple of runners, a couple of run/walkers, and a couple of walkers on our team.  We also had a lot of heart and determination.  I led off with the first 3 laps (6.6 miles).  It was cold and windy, but still dry when I ran.  I did my laps in 1:17 and was very happy with my time.  The course is along the White River Parkway, so it's very pretty with a beautiful view of the city.  That wind though.  Brr!  As with any other lap races I've run, the faster runners who were passing me were always so encouraging.  I love that about runners!

Grandfather Mtn Marathon

Dont you hate those stories that start in the middle and then go back to the beginning?  I am so far

behind thats the only way I know how to start, with my most recent race then go back to January.  Spoiler alert, you might get confused until I work my way back.  Its been one heck of a year.  Here we go...
so, two weeks before, I decide to do the Grandfather Mtn Marathon.  I know, smart huh.  Jyst wait until I go back in time.  I knew my time wouldnt be stellar, I just wanted to finish, say id done the race.  The race started at Appalachian State in Boone and ended on Grandfather Mtn at the Highland Games.  How epic is that?  There was a time limit, 6 hours (or 6.5, never got that straight)  you had to finish by 12 to cross the finish line, they broke it down for the games.  Im not going to lie,  I wanted that finish line finish but didnt really think I had it in me.  Just finishing would be great.
We started at 6:30 am with a half mile around the track, then off we went for a little downhill,  then up, up, down, up, up, down, and at 13 miles just up.  I felt sleepy and lethargic first half of the race, but was able to run with Alice about 11 miles.  We were averaging right under 11 min mile but my legs were already beginning to hurt.  I switched to run/walk, inevitable with that uphill.  Thank you heavenly lady with watermelon.  But at 17 miles the dreaded cramp so bad I couldnt move (you will hear much  more about cramps later)  my leg or foot.  All the sudden, racers all around me helping, offering tylenol, salt, bio freeze ( I will carry that forever now) and one runner gave me a message,  seriously, amazing.  Then one runner informed me, sadly, that I would not be winning the race, to take it easy.  Haha, she was joking around (well, I wasn't going to win but she was just being funny).
Surprisingly I took her advice, after a couple of minutes of not.  I was hobbling and trying to run on when I heard someone behind me say, "yeah, I'm fighting that too."  Turns out he had done the marathon several other times and was walking off some cramps.  We talked and walked for about 5 to 10 minutes then he went on his way.  I walked a little more, then gave running a try.  At first I was walking more than running, but I was getting it done.  Getting passed but getting it done.  I continued this way, passing through several aid stations.  Then I realized I was at mile 22 and I was running more than walking on the steepest part. I also could tell by my watch that a finish line finish was still achievable. Then I started passing people back.  With about two miles left I passed the first guy I talked to back.  Everyone who knew I had been hurting was cheering me on.  Kept making me feel stronger and stronger.  Would look at my watch and hitting 9 to 10 mph on speed uphill running.  I was going to do this and finish strong.
Half a mile left, Alice is standing there cheering me on.  Starting to cramp again but am determined.  Then, Mark is there, running beside me.  I cut into the parking for the highland games and go up another hill...finish line!  After I run the track I am informed.  It's time to find that something you save inside.  Pick up those feet, try not to look like you are dying and in pain and try not to cramp as you run a quarter mile around a track with everyone watching.  Halfway around the bag pipe marching band is coming the other way.  Amazing as I run past them, pick up my feet a little more.  Then there it is, the finish line.  5 hours 21 minutes.  Not fast by any means, but I am so  proud of the strength and determination I found in myself again.  My favorite marathon by far.  I'll do it again. 

The strength I found in this race led me to my next decision, which I had been doubting my abilities.
I signed up for my first 50 Mile Ultra.  The last Saturday in September, Table Rock 50 Mile Ultra.  Holy crap on a cracker.... :-)

I'm Not Ready For This

2011, in Michigan

I think most of our readers know why I haven't blogged since mid-April, but for those who don't: my husband Kevin went home to be with the Lord after a sudden heart attack on April 23.  I am devastated to have lost him at only 47.  We had 11 years together, the last 5 of those married, but it doesn't feel like nearly long enough.  I feel angry & cheated out of the 40 or 50 years I thought we'd have together.  And I don't feel ready for this life I have to now live without him.

I know, however, that God is with me and will be with me in all the days to come.  He knows what I need to get through this and He will make sure I have it, so I am living on faith and taking each little step as I see it in front of me, even though I can't see any farther than that right now.