Today Kathy & I were signed up to work the Results Tent at the Monumental Marathon, Half Marathon & 5K. We arrived at the time we were told to be there, only to find all 6 spots at the results table were full. And including us there were 6 other volunteers just standing around. No one ever showed us how to look up results in case we needed to take someone's place. And they really only needed one or two extras in case someone needed a break. So after a while, we asked someone who sort of seemed to be in charge if they really needed us at all. He said no, so we headed out to the Carmel Runners Club Cheer Zone.
We had a lot of fun out there watching for our friends and cheering them in. We missed a few in the crowds, but we saw most of our friends come around that corner 5 blocks from the finish. We saw friends finishing their very first half and friends setting new half PRS. We saw friends finishing their first full marathon, Jen finish her 130th (no, that's not a typo), and Famie get her BQ after having to sit out with an injury last year. So many times we teared up with emotion. I wish everyone could go watch a marathon finish like that.
It brought up some unexpectedly sad emotions for me, too. I felt Kevin's presence, like he was there watching too. I had wanted so badly for him to come see me finish my first marathon at Carmel back in April. He didn't really understand why I wanted to run a marathon, or why anyone would, actually. I really wanted to share that moment with him. I'm sure if he had known what it meant to me, he would have been there. I tried to tell him, but I couldn't make him understand. I hope he was proud of me.
It feels like unfinished business. When he said he wasn't coming to Carmel, I was sad but I let it go. And I hoped that the next time I wanted him to come, that I would be able to get him to see. But there wasn't ever a next time. And that all came bubbling back up towards the end of the Monumental today. I miss him so much. And there's just so many things we didn't get to finish or do or share. It really sucks.