|FBG in Red White & Blue|
This year, as the weekend approached, I expected much of the same and I was feeling really down. Side note to all my co-workers who wished me a happy long weekend: sorry for biting your heads off. Sometimes I just don't have much patience with meaningless small talk. I was expecting to feel lonely and pointless like I do a lot of weekends, and I just thought you all should magically know that and not be so cheery at me.
But surprisingly, I have to say this weekend wasn't horrible. I was alone, but I didn't feel lonely. Maybe I'm getting the hang of this alone thing. The frat boys were all gone: Josh and Nate were camping, and Nick was golfing with family down in Evansville. As soon as they left, I did what I always do and cleaned the house really good so I could enjoy it staying clean for a couple of days. Then I did something I've never done before in my life: I went to the grocery store and only bought food I like. Nothing for anyone else. No Cocoa Pebbles or Little Debbies in my cart. I bought some weird organic bread full of sprouts and seeds that no one else here would ever eat. Tilapia. Fire-roasted tomatoes. Mango salsa. It was kind of fun to shop for just myself and no one else. I still cried in the grocery store, of course. I haven't yet managed a shopping trip without it. But it was just a moment and then I was okay again.
I was really that way most of the weekend. I had moments where I missed Kevin so much I had to just sit down and cry for a few. But most of the time I managed to be okay. I stayed off social media, so everyone else's happy family posts wouldn't drag me down. I called my momma and we had a nice talk. I stayed busy, alternating between getting some chores done, cooking some good food, and reading. I talked to God a lot, and He's finally given me some direction about the house, so I'm feeling a lot better about that.
|2007, still brand new|
Financially I know it makes sense to stay here one more year, but especially if the frat boys all move out in the next two months like they plan, I didn't know if I emotionally could stand to be here. God showed me though that with Him, I can. And I think He gave me a great idea about making some of the repairs I need to make before I sell. More on that late, but I guess I'll be a Brownsburger for one more year, and maybe by then I will have figured out if I'm staying in Indy or not.
My presence will go with you, and I'll give you rest. Exodus 33:14It wasn't all just me sitting home alone though. I got my first ever massage on Saturday. Also my last. I had a gift card so I thought I'd try it. Really underwhelming. I didn't feel any differently afterwards. No way would I actually pay for that. Sunday after church I met the FBG for lunch so we could plan a couple of trips we have coming up: Flat Rock, Woodstock, and Vegas. And we raced on Monday: the Firecracker 6 in downtown Indy.
|Firecracker Post Race Party|
- Run(317) Mass Ave on July 21. My favorite race of my favorite race series!
- Training for the Rock N Roll Vegas Marathon starts this week. I'm following the Indy Runners fall marathon training plan.
- Indiana Women's Trail Run July 9. I'm not running this one this year, I'm volunteering at it. Look for me at the IFF aid station at the Start/Finish Line.