I'm having a hard time so far this month. It's a lot like early December was for me: full of memories and also full of dread for the special days coming up. Valentine's Day, of course. VD candy has been in the stores since December 26th, but now it's not just candy and it's everywhere. Even some of my favorite SyFy shows are sponsored by Kay Jewelers.
It's not just VD that's going to be hard, though. It's all those other days that seem small until the person you shared them with is gone. Super Bowl Sunday. I probably won't even watch it. By now we'd already be planning our menu of snacks. It won't be any fun by myself. Same thing in a couple of weeks with the Daytona 500. I didn't watch any NASCAR last year after Kevin died. I don't even know who won the Sprint Cup.
And then after February comes March, and Kevin's birthday. Then April, and the anniversary of his death. I try not to think about it all, but sometimes I can't help it. Normally I would of course be planning something for VD, but I would have also already started planning something for his birthday too. Remember what I said last week about living in the moment hurting a lot less? I'm having a little bit harder time with that this week.
I came across the verse in that picture above in my Bible reading last week. I would leap for joy, no matter how great my pain. I know that God is Holy. Job 6:10. It's on my desk at work now. It's on my phone. I used it as Verse of the Day at LF Bootcamp this week, to go along with a jump rope workout. It really resonates with me, and there's a lot of power in just saying those words. And when my head starts hurting and my stomach starts knotting up with dread over the next few weeks, this verse is where I go. Yes, I'm going to hurt, but God is still Holy and in control, and I WILL leap for joy in the midst of my pain.
February's not going to be all bad, though. I've got three races that I'm looking forward to. I haven't raced since New Year's Day, so it will be nice to get back to it. This Saturday is the 500 Festival 3 Miler; then February 20 is the Circle City Donut Dash - part of the Indy East Race Series; and February 27 is the inaugural Winter Trail Frosty Quarter Marathon. (WTF! I'm going to have to update the Cussword Trifecta. Cussword Quadruple Play?)
The Donut Dash actually has a Donut Challenge option where runners must eat a dozen donuts at the midpoint of the race. I don't think I could eat a dozen donuts in a week, much less in the middle of a race, so I'm just doing the normal 5K with a donut at the end. They've posted the race t-shirt and it's super cute! You can still sign up for $30, or sign up for all four races in the Indy East Race Series for just $65. It's a bargain you can't beat: great local racing benefitting great local organizations. Go HERE to register, and HERE to see my previous blog post for more details on these races.
If you're in Indy, I hope to see you at some or all of these races. And no matter where you are, Do Epic Shit Every Damn Day, Badass!