I've cried when I parted with Kevin's glasses (Lions Club), and some of his coats (Horizon House), but it all still felt right even though it is really sad. There was one last week that was really upsetting, though, and sadly it's not going to someone who can use it - it's going back to the bank.
Kevin & I bought a camper in 2010, and we had so much fun in it. When the kids and I were cleaning it out, I realized that we had never had a fight or a bad day at all while we were camping. That camper holds nothing but good memories and lots of love. I've tried to sell it and I can't, because we owe more than it's worth. I can't justify continuing to make payments on something, especially since I can't use it (can't pull a camper behind a Beetle), and I really don't want to go camping without Kevin anyway. So I finally told the bank to come get it, and they picked it up a few days ago.
It made me sadder than I expected; I actually burst into tears at work as soon as I hung up the phone. Thank God for a caring coworker who took the time to pray with me for comfort, and share a scripture and some chocolate with me too.
It's not the camper itself that I really want to hang on to, though. It's all the good memories we made there. So I'm sharing a few pictures and a few memories here. And since I know that God is in control, I trust that when the bank auctions the camper off He will direct it to to someone who will enjoy it as much as we did. The top left picture at the start of this post is the day we picked the camper up, still at the dealership. The pictures above on the right side are all at the dealership too, the day we decided this camper was the one for us. Kevin didn't really like me to make his picture, so sometimes I had to take two or three before I could get him to smile.
Close to Home
Kevin also grilled a delicious birthday meal for me: smoked sausage and garlic bread. I made red beans and rice to go with it, and macaroni and cheese for Kevin since he didn't like rice.
In the picture to the left, check out how white Kevin's feet are. He had a permanent golfer's tan. We often joked that even when he was barefooted, he looked like he was still wearing white socks.
On that same trip, our next stop was Kentucky Lake. Kevin had reserved us what had to be the best lot in the campground, right on the lake at the very end of the campground. We liked it there so much we looked into extending our stay, but our lot was already booked for the day we were checking out. To the right is the gorgeous view we had standing right outside our camper. Most nights we sat outside well after dark watching the barge traffic on the lake.
And to the righ you can see Sampson enjoyed this campground too, since it had an off-leash dog park. He wouldn't play on any of the ramps or tunnels in the park. I think the smell of other dogs made him nervous. But he enjoyed chasing his ball and running around.
This was a really hard blog post to write. I started it ten days ago when I first called the bank, and it's taken me till now to get it edited and posted. I cried a lot while writing this one. I miss Kevin and I miss those camping days. I wish we'd done more of them. We talked about a few other trips we wanted to take, but we kept putting them off while letting life get in the way. What I wouldn't give for just one more night to sit by the fire with him.