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Friday, August 7, 2015

Fear Not

Sampson B. Hazel
We have a Cocker Spaniel named Sampson who I sometimes call 'Fraidy Dog.  He is afraid of so many things.  He's fierce from a distance, but up close he's afraid of other dogs.  He's afraid of thunder and fireworks, as many dogs are.  And he often acts afraid when things look or sound different.

Scary storm damage
Josh broke his foot, so he's in a boot and on crutches right now, and Sammy is afraid of him when he's walking around, even though he's the same Josh.  Last week when I was thumping my suitcase down the stairs to head to NC, Sammy was afraid of me, or the suitcase.  And forget taking him for a walk when it's trash pick-up day in the neighborhood.  Sam is afraid of those trash cans on the curbs, because they aren't normally there.

After a storm has blown things around in the backyard, Sampson is afraid to go out there.  Maybe he's remembering the scary storm noises from the night before, or maybe it's just that things look so different to him.  I tell him I wouldn't let him go out there if it wasn't safe, but he still doesn't understand.  So I have to go with him.  Even though it doesn't look that different to me, from Sam's perspective this yard has completely changed and no longer looks safe.

Not afraid of snow
Scary stray cat
And maybe you see where I'm going with this.  From my perspective, without Kevin my life has completely changed.  But maybe from God's perspective, it's not that different.  Kevin spent a lot of time here waiting for me in our Earthly home.  Waiting on me to run errands after work, waiting on me to come home from an early morning run, waiting on me to get ready to go somewhere....  Sorry Darlin', I just never really had a good sense of time.  Probably never will. 

And now Kevin's gone Home, and he's waiting on me there. Life looks and feels very different and scary to me.  But if I try to think about it from God's perspective, and know that He's going with me with every step I take, maybe I don't have to be afraid.  It still feels like I can't do it.  But then I remember:
What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.  Psalm 56:3.
Bark in the Park, 2013
Josh and I memorized that verse when he was little, and we would say it together after he'd had a nightmare, sometimes repeating it over and over until he felt better.  I can do the same thing now when I start to feel that dread creep over me and the nerves in my stomach start cramping up.  I'm right: I can't do it.  But God can, and He's with me.

Do you have a verse you repeat to yourself when you are scared or stressed?  Feel free to share it in the Comments if you do.

Kevin and Sammy


  1. My heart breaks for you. I have been through divorce was Scarry when I was 20 and there is a grieving that goes with that but I know nothing can compare to losing your spouse! I think of you often and the verse I always say is I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! I love the book of Psalms it brings me peace and comfort. I love you dear friend!!!! I pray for you to find peace and comfort!!

  2. What a great illustration. I can't thank you enough for sharing your vulnerability and strength. Whether you see it that way or not, that's my perspective.