Nine Months

Saturday marked nine months since Kevin died.  Nine months.  That's a long time, and yet it's not.  Sometimes I look at pictures where Kevin has his arm around me, and I can still feel him there.  And sometimes it feels so long ago and far away.  When the holidays got here and people were exclaiming that the year went by so fast, I didn't say anything.  It didn't go by fast for me.  It crawled by in excruciating detail.

Nine months ago I didn't even believe I would survive this long.  And yet here I am.  I hold onto that fact when the grief overwhelms me again.  God brought me through those awful first days and weeks, He's going to bring me through these moments as well.

I feel only marginally more prepared for this life now, although I feel like I've changed a lot.  I dreamed recently that Kevin came back with a vague sense of how much time had passed, but no real memory of being dead.  He was really confused by how much I had changed.  He was exactly the same, and he didn't understand why my reactions and emotions were so different.  I didn't feel like Kevin was actually present; this was just a dream where my mind was working through the changes, giving myself permission to accept that I'm never going to be the same.

Ten Days of Epic

Since we have our 2016 motto of Do Epic Every Day, here's some of the epic I did during the first ten days of the year:

Resolution Run 5K

Our faces froze like that.

I began the year with a New Year's Day 5K.  It started and ended on Georgia Street, circling around Lucas Oil Stadium.  It was a really fun race, but that wind though!  The north-south streets especially were wind tunnels.  I finished in 34:39, just 52 seconds off my 5K PR of 33:47.  I think I may be looking at a new PR soon, on some calm, wind-free day.

Refit Dance Class
I have a couple of friends who teach this at Mount Pleasant Community Life Center, but it is a nationwide mission so check the link to find classes near you or even watch some online.  It's a faith-based dance workout to positive, uplifting music.  It's for all fitness levels, and it's a lot of fun.  I'm glad I went to try it out, and I am adding this to my regular schedule.